Book Review: Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll

Real Marriage by Mark & Grace Driscoll has been receiving a lot attention. It has raised the red flag on controversy among some Evangelicals because some think the Driscolls have lowered the standard of marriage. Yes, this book talks about sex, but it is not just about sex. There have been a lot of great reviews on this book so I am going to do my best to give you my thoughts on the book.

This book begins with the Driscolls sharing their own story of their marriage as well as the struggles they have had during their marriage. They opened all the skeletons in their closest which leaves room for them to be criticized and embraced at the same time.

They even talk about marriage being more than just a sexual relationship, but a building a friendship with your spouse. There was even one chapter devoted to men in regards to marriage written by Mark and one on women written by Grace. Both were appropriate chapters for each gender. One of my favorite chapters was one taking out the trash which regards to our sin. In marriage you have two sinners saved by grace with their own faults and struggles, so there will be conflict, which I can relate.

The first five chapters are devoted to marriage while the next five are devoted to sex, which a lot of pastors can be uncomfortable to talk about. Sometime pastors will use the word intimacy instead of sex regarding sexual activity between a married man and married woman. For some people, these chapters can be uncomfortable and one reaching for cold water.

This leads me to the controversial chapter 10 of the book called, "Can We______?" Mark & Grace get a lot of questions from married couples on what sexual activities can they perform, which is a legitimate question because many Christian couples probably have no clue to answer for themselves because either they are afraid or uncomfortable to think about.

They talk about oral sex, anal sex, cybersex, and more. For each activity they talk about they answer three questions: Is it lawful?, Is it helpful?, Is it enslaving? These questions are based on 1 Corinthians 6:12, which says, “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.

Now to the big question: Is this book for everyone? I do not think this is for teens. I think this book is for those who are either single or have not been married for a long time. Should a pastor recommend this book for pre-martial counseling? That depends on the pastor. I know many would say no, but other would say yes. I think if chapter 10 was not in the book, it would have not have gotten the attention it has been getting.

For those who said this was a sex book, I did not get that from reading this book, but I will say it does get a little rough.

Thanks Booksneeze for letting me review this book.