How To Treat Your Wife

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

God directly tells husbands how to treat their wives: “Live with your wives in an understanding way.” God then explains how and why:
How should you live with your wife in an understanding way? By “showing honor” to her.

Why should you honor your wife? (1) “Since” she is an heir “with you of the grace of life” and (2) “so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

So if you are a husband, you should ask yourself, “How can I better live with my wife in an understanding way? How can I better honor her?” Here are some diagnostic questions to help you do that:

How often do you ask your wife, “How can I better live with you in an understanding way? How can I better honor you?” Or stated negatively, “Are there ways in which I am not living with you in an understanding way? Are there ways in which you feel like I am not honoring you?” If you are wise, you’ll ask her that regularly and assure her that you will receive her answer humbly and graciously, responding neither defensively nor offensively.

How well do you know your wife? What does she need and want from you? You can’t live with your wife in an understanding way if you don’t know very much about her. You should know your wife better than anyone else. What makes her tick? What does she like and dislike? What are her deepest fears and aspirations? It is shameful if you know and care more about players on your favorite football team than you do about your wife. Do you delight to study your wife?

What are you intentionally doing to get to know your wife better? Do you regularly plan to set aside time to have unhurried, distraction-free conversations? Does she feel like you are deeply interested in her and her world? Do you draw out what is in her heart with thoughtful questions?

Do you treat your wife in a harsh or domineering way? Do you think of her or treat her as less important than you?

Can you name specific ways that you regularly honor your wife (privately and publicly) in ways that make her feel honored?

Andy Naselli from the ESV Men's Devotional Bible