20 Years Later

In December 2001, our son was over three months old and our country was still feeling the affects of the terror attacks that happened on 9/11. My wife and I moved from East Texas to Bowie, Tx where I took a full-time position as Youth Pastor at a Southern Baptist Church. This was my first "real job" in the church. 

I was excited for the opportunity and the fact that I would be able to complete seminary while serving here. My wife's family was an hour away at Wichita Falls. Normally, when a new minister comes there is something called the Honeymoon stage where you are liked and things in the church are going great. I did not have that. Many teenagers in our church did not want a ministry and they wanted us to conform to the schedule and likeness of the largest church in the town.  

About a few into this position, the pastor resigned. I was dumbfounded. I had no idea why. He said his position was more of an intentional interim than a Senior Pastor. Teens did not want to come to church because I was offering Bible studies versus fun activities, which I had some from time to time. I went to the schools for lunches but the high school was opened campus which means students can eat either at home, a restaurant, or at the school, which I never saw any of my students.  

We did eventually vote in a new pastor and got along great with him. In August 2002, I was forced out of my position of Youth Pastor and had to move out of our parsonage. Now to the church's credit, they wanted to see me in a new position where I could succeed in ministry. I did not find another church position till 2006 where I was bi-vocational. 

After I left Bowie, my family and I moved to Wichita Falls, where we still live to this day. My daughter was born in 2005, who will be starting her senior year soon. My son graduated in 2020 and is working in the trades. I wish I can say that I finished seminary, but I did not. I do want to return one day, but I know it will not be with a Southern Baptist seminary. I had countless interviews with church, but not successful.

As I approach the 20th year of what affected my ministry, there are times I have thought, what if I never took that position. I am not sure why it happened the way it did, but I do know that it did not catch God off guard. I have wondered why He has never allowed us to move from here to new church, but I trust in His sovereignty. Its not that I hate Wichita Falls, but I know there are churches here that probably do not want a five-point Calvinist to be on staff at their church. 

There have been other doors that I have been given which were difficult which one of them was attempting to plant a church which imploded before it had its first service. Did not help when the men that I was on the church planting team with wanted me to embrace paedo baptism, which I refused. 

These last 20 years were never what I expected. I never thought I would see where I am and have wondered if ministry was ever the right thing for me to do. I believed I was following God. God never promised success, but I thought, at least, I would be in a church serving. I wish I can say we have had been part of great churches in that process, but my family and I have dealt with some hardships in a lot of churches over the years both as a minister and as a layman. 

I have debated about writing this because it might make people prone to attack me and label me as a failure. Some might say I have no credentials to even defend the faith. Some might even say just go in a corner to cry then write in your feelings journal. 

I know God is good even when plans from long ago did not go that way we wanted them to go. God has never left me or has forsaken me based on the promises in Scripture. God has continued to provide for my family and I in ways that still blow my mind. 

I do not know what the future hold, but I know God does. I will continue to be faithful and serve the Lord whether I am a church leader or not. I will also continue to remain available for when the opportunity arises.